Reflecting The Heart Of The Father. . .

Pastoring By Elders (Part 2)

Mike & Sue Dowgiewicz

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Chapter 8
Deference: The Character of Jesus In His Followers

What is your personal responsibility to those in authority over you? Because authority comes from above, your Father requires that you submit to that position with an attitude of deference.

• Deference is shown when you avoid choices and decisions that would offend those in authority over you.

• Deference causes you to fulfill your responsibilities with a willing heart rather than as a burden of obligation.

• Deference is linked with humility, giving honor and esteem to those who have a right to them.

Deference is at the heart of God’s command, “Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:32). Even in modern Israel young people on the bus rise to give their seats to older folks. Disregard for the elderly points to the downfall of not only a nation but also the Church (see Lamentations 4:16,5:12). This culture’s exaltation of youth and the exile of retirees into adult communities and convalescent homes have contributed severely to the broken homes and generational rifts now besetting our country and faith communities.

The Bible, on the other hand, commands respect for an older person by the younger generation. Deference is prominent in the command, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth’” (Ephesians 6:1-3). Pleasant consequences are promised to those who learn this facet of obedience early.

Peter specifically addresses the need for character development to include deference: “Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time” (1 Peter 5:5,6). Paul emphasized the essence of deference when he wrote, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21), and, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3,4). Deference sees beyond self-interest to the wider arena of interconnectedness.

Jesus lived in absolute deference to His Father’s will. His constant awareness and loving union with His Father made doing His will a joyful responsibility: “So Jesus said, ‘When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on My own but speak just what the Father has taught Me’” (John 8:28). Filled with this deference toward His Father, Jesus could readily recognize and rejoice in the faith-based deference shown to Him by the centurion discussed earlier: “The centurion replied, ‘Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed” (Matthew 8:10). The centurion understood the spiritual authority of Jesus and, in humility, deferred to that.

A person who has truly grasped the significance of deference in his heart will go to extreme lengths to uphold those who have authority. David displayed incredible deference to King Saul even as the monarch was trying to kill him. When David was hiding in a cave with his men, Saul entered alone. David could easily have slain him, and was even urged to do so by his men: “This is the day the Lord spoke of when He said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’ Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe” (1 Samuel 24:4).

But even this seemingly inconsequential snip of cloth quickened guilt in David for having violated true deference. By stealing even a portion of the king’s robe David was proving that he had the power to remove the whole robe, in other words, to kill him and usurp his authority: “Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. He said to his men, ‘The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lift my hand against him; for he is the anointed of the Lord’” (1 Samuel 24:5,6).

On several occasions during our retreat ministry men would complain to Mike about the lack of respect from their children. Mike would respond by asking if the men had slandered or gossiped against their superiors in their work place. Their lack of deference on the job was perhaps reaping for them the same fruit at home. Over the years men would return to the center to share how they had asked forgiveness for the slander and gossip they had entertained. Sure enough, many would discover that the home climate had improved as well! Focusing on the Lord’s perspective of the role of the authorities in your life will cause you to serve with joy rather than chafe in selfish irritation. And that attitude will overflow in your home as well.

Deference is the absence of wanting control over your life. It keeps you from protecting yourself from potential emotional hurt. Instead, deference enables you to “die daily” and to please God and those He has placed over you.

An attitude of deference does not mean blind submission, however. Living under the oppressive regime of the Babylonians, Daniel and his friends were forced into a decision of conscience. Rather than disobey those in authority over them, the young captives instead made an appeal to the guard to eat foods which did not violate their consciences. Because of that deference, the guard accepted their request:

"But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel. . . So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days. At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead" (Daniel 1:8-16).

Deference is not just a matter of correct behavior. Deference is a heart issue. Those who receive your deference know whether they are being honored by your actions. Hundreds of people over the years have discovered a deeper understanding of deference from the following story. The humble have understood the wonderful love that was enacted. Those who are conscious of position or “correct behavior,” however, stumble over it.

Mike and his father enjoyed fishing together, especially very early in the morning before others arrived. Dad liked to anchor in the middle of the lake with a bait on his line that was bigger than most of the fish there. Mike preferred to fish along the shore, casting a lure into the shallow water. During one period in his life Dad had become cantankerous, driving away everyone who might fish with him except for Mike. (In retrospect we can see that Dad was going through the Wounded Warrior stage of his life, as discussed in Restoring the Early Church.)

One particular Saturday when Mike was about 13 years old, Dad stopped near the shore so Mike could cast his lure into the shallows. Soon Dad got bored and stood up to start the little outboard motor just as Mike hooked a beautiful bass. He shouted quickly to turn off the motor but Dad retorted, “Just shake the fish off.” Disregarding Mike, he began to move the boat out of the shallows. Mike’s line snapped and he lost his fish.

In one motion Mike grabbed his father by the belt and threw him into the lake, then turned off the motor. Dad spluttered to the surface bellowing expletives. Picture this 250-pound man in the icy water screaming at this 140-pound 13-year-old who had just thrown him in. If you were the 13-year-old, your mind was desperately scrambling for words. There was no place to hide. As he looked down at the father he loved thrashing in the water, Mike blurted, “You’re not getting in this boat until you start smiling.”

Dad realized that Mike’s actions had not been prompted by rebellion but by a correct appraisal of how he had been treating people. Soon the expletives dissolved into unabashed laughter. Something wonderful passed between father and son that morning. A connection occurred that would become a special source of strength and comfort for both of them, a heart weave that would grow until the day Dad died some 25 years later. The culmination of that connection came a few years before Dad died, when he asked to embrace the same Jesus he saw in Mike.

The combination of godly shepherding by qualified older men and deference by those in the flock to bring joy to the shepherds is key to equipping the spiritual family for service and for fruit-bearing.

Deference to the Position of Authority
Let’s face it: You will always be confronted with those who have authority over you. But it is vital that you separate the position of authority from the acts of that person. A position of authority (parent, boss, elder) is given to an individual by someone who is above him or her, either human or God. That position must be respected, honored, and obeyed. In the military you salute rank. A junior individual who meets a superior salutes first, indicating deference to the rank of the senior. Whether or not the junior likes the senior is irrelevant.

When a person in authority acts in a manner that is detrimental to those in his care, he must be given opportunity to repent and/or change his point of view. You cannot summarily discard a position of authority just because the man has erred or failed to meet your expectations. You didn’t give that person authority, God did. Through a right spirit you can help him to correctly enact his authority. Even David, although he was king, repented when Nathan the prophet properly confronted him about his sin (see 2 Samuel 11 and 12).

What should you do if those in leadership mandate actions that are contrary to the commands of God? First, gird yourself with prayer so that you may have a humble, teachable heart. Carefully search the Scriptures for passages that will clarify your reasons for objection. Then make an appeal to see if they will change their minds. If the appeal is rejected and there is no other position of authority to which you can appeal, then you must uphold God’s command.

That was the case with Daniel’s friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They refused to worship the false gods of Nebuchadnezzar and made an appeal based on their trust in the God of Israel. The king’s response was a furious command to incinerate them. The young men knew that the king had the authority to do this and entrusted themselves to God’s decision to rescue them or not. (See Daniel 3.)

Queen Esther, too, respected the authority of her husband but was willing to face the consequences of her unlawful intrusion into his presence in order to rescue her people. Both her example and that of Daniel’s friends demonstrate that if necessary, you must make an appeal to authority no matter what the consequences.

You may find yourself in a situation like the apostles, who insisted before the Sanhedrin that “we must obey God rather than men” (see Acts 4:19, 5:29). Make sure that your heart is right and that your position is scriptural. If you feel compelled by conscience to act contrary to the will of the authority over you, it is vital that you have prayerfully received confirmation from two or three others who are mature in the faith. Then boldly obey God and be willing to face the outcome.

Jack, our next door neighbor many years ago, worked in quality assurance for a major corporation. Late one night as Mike was preparing for bed, the Holy Spirit prompted him to go next door to Jack’s home. As Jack answered the door Mike could see that he was disturbed about something. Jack shared that as he was leaving for home that afternoon, his supervisor had approached him to pass some material the next day that did not meet specifications. Jack had never done this before and voiced his objection. The supervisor responded, “Do you want to keep your job?” Jack had been awake praying that God would guide him when Mike knocked on the door.

As he and Mike prayed and discussed the problem, they discerned that the appropriate place of appeal was with the personnel department. If the company backed the supervisor, Jack felt he could not continue working for a disreputable company. As only our Father can orchestrate, Jack came home the following evening as the new supervisor of quality assurance. The company wanted men of integrity!

Deference is often most challenging when it hits closest to home: honoring your parents. We used the following passage earlier as a means for developing deference: “Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth’” (Ephesians 6:1-3).

Note that God did not specify that they had to be wonderfully loving or godly parents in order to be honored. It is critical for children to honor the position of authority that God gives a parent, and to separate the God-given position from the way they carry out that role. Failure to give parents the deference that God requires results in children who suffer needless misery for years and wonder why. As promised in His Word, our Father will discipline the bitter and rebellious by ensuring that little goes well for them.

Some people are trapped because they can’t forgive their parents in their heart for past sins or abuses. Others stay embittered because the parent(s) did not meet the child’s expectations. Yet forgiveness from the heart is a non-optional command from the Lord: “In anger his master turned him over to the jailers [tormentors] until he should pay back all he owed. This is how My heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother [or mother or father] from your heart” (Matthew 18:34,35).

The Bible tells us, and the early Church understood this point clearly, that the Father will not consummate His covenant with a bitter person: “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15). Failure to forgive others indicates that you do not appreciate the preciousness of the blood Jesus shed to forgive your sins. Bitterness reflects pride, which forces the Father to oppose you (see James 4:6).

At the retreat center one of our neighbors had several sons who had moved far away before we arrived. This man (we’ll call him Ted) was full of deep bitterness, always trying to dominate everyone around him. One day Sue said, “Mike, I really prefer that you not become Ted’s friend.” Sue had based her appeal on Proverbs 22:24,25: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” So Mike agreed, and tried to maintain just a neighborly acquaintance with the man.

About two years after we moved to the retreat center, Ted’s sons came home for the holidays. The day before they were due to leave, the oldest asked to meet privately with Mike. Angrily the young man shouted, “How can you take living near my father? He’s driven his children and everyone else away. Mom has told me how he tries to hurt you. How can you stand him?”

Mike asked, “Do you feel like you have to draw your sword every time you’re around your father?” His emphatic yes confirmed the intensity of his frustration and anger. He admitted that he and his brothers had fled their father in order to escape the emotional pain. Each one, though, felt guilty about what their mother had to endure. Mike studied him with loving concern, then asked if he’d ever seen the movie Return of the Jedi. In the movie, young Luke Skywalker duels with his father, Darth Vader, the second-most evil person in the galaxy. Then Luke realizes the futility of anger and, in deference to his father, turns off his light saber. This action ultimately wins the heart of his father, who joins Luke to defeat the evil Emperor. The moral of the story? If there is to be any healing between father and son, the child must in deference drop his sword first.

At the request of this son, Ted’s children came together to see Mike. After he explained the biblical basis for his counsel, they agreed that restoration was God’s will. Each one went to his father to ask forgiveness for his bitter attitude toward him. The boys’ deference profoundly impacted the older man. A short while later he journeyed to the side of his own father just days before the old gentleman died, and asked forgiveness for the bitterness he’d held for so long.

Can you see how the poison of bitterness passes from generation to generation? Ponder this anecdote from our sheep flock. A local 4-H’er offered us his ewe. She was a good-looking sheep and we gratefully added her to our flock. Not too long after, we noticed she was limping. Close inspection revealed the shepherd’s bane: foot rot. A highly contagious affliction, foot rot destroys the hoof tissue, crippling the sheep and hindering her ability to graze. To our dismay, the entire flock had been infected. How many hours were spent dipping hooves into copper sulfate and cutting away rotted tissue! The lesson we learned has spiritual implications: No matter how wonderful a sheep looks on the outside, if the infection of bitterness is present, you can be sure that others will be contaminated by it. Bitter people and infected sheep cause trouble and defile many! (See Hebrews 12:15.)

One of the most powerful treasures that God gives to man is the gift of humility. True deference cannot exist without humility. Humility looks to the interest of others to honor and support them. The word honor in Greek means to prize, revere, or value. You might not think you have much to revere in your parents but look at it this way: they gave you life. They were the vessels from whom the Father brought you forth. When you come to grips with that reality, remember that how you respond from this moment onward is up to you: “So in everything, do to [your parents] what you would have [your children] do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).

A life of dedicated service to the Lord you trust honors your heavenly Father even if your parents don’t know Him or care about Him. Your Father hears and answers the prayer of the righteous. He would love to surround your parents with a cloud of witnesses and circumstances that would reveal Jesus to them! And if your folks have already died, God would enjoy healing you when you release the sting of those painful memories by forgiving from your heart. In its deepest essence, forgiveness is the epitome of deference.

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Chapter 9
Wisdom: The Essence of Godly Authority

Obtaining wisdom should be the life-long goal of those who would shepherd the Father’s flocks.

In essence, wisdom sees life from God’s point of view. Wisdom enables you to apply His principles to your life situations. Certainly the Hebrew sages who led their people knew the importance of wisdom in their leadership. Wisdom was essential if they were to fulfill God’s plan to set apart the Israelites as His instruments to reach the world for Himself: “See, I have taught you decrees and laws as the Lord my God commanded me, so that you may follow them in the land you are entering to take possession of it. Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people’” (Deuteronomy 4:5,6; see also Jeremiah 3:15).

Wisdom is not achieved in a vacuum. Your willingness to open your heart and mind to the influence of those who are wiser and more experienced in righteous ways separates a fool from a seeker of truth: “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15). The humility required for you to learn from others can change the course of your life.

Attaining wisdom is a process that begins early in life, ideally in the home. The book of Proverbs is full of gems that extol the virtues of wisdom, particularly if you can learn its value even from youth. And the people best in a position to foster opportunities for gaining wisdom are parents. Note the following proverbs of counsel from a father whose heart’s desire is to see his child become a man who someday might be fit to shepherd his people: “The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor” (Proverbs 15:33). Learning from infancy that loving obedience to God precedes any other commitment or relationship prepares your heart to develop a humble dependence on God’s will alone. Genuine humility is key to preparing a man for leadership and any honor that might come. Those who feel that they have achieved success by the strength of their own hands will be deafened to the voice of God, for He resists the proud.

“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding” (Proverbs 3:13). Finding wisdom entails a lifelong habit of teachability, a tireless desire for yieldedness to the mind of Christ. A vessel full of itself has no room for the living water that pours forth wisdom. Acquiring understanding, the sister of wisdom, is also a pilgrimage process. Weigh each new opportunity and experience against the standard of the truth of God’s Word. The blessing of ever-increasing intimacy with God comes as He opens your willing heart to continue to view circumstances from His perspective.

“Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7). In ancient times, as now, a battle rages within the soul between material worldly success and spiritual righteous victory. Young people three thousand years ago were just as tempted to seek after worldly pleasures as are today’s youth (remember the Prodigal Son?). Yet the more a child was exposed to the role model of godly virtuous parents who were willing to forsake material gain to prize that which pleased God, the likelier he was to cling to those values when he matured.

Young Jesus desired with all His heart to walk in intimate union with His heavenly Father. His earthly parents provided that righteous training ground for Him to exercise growth in holiness: “And the child grew and became strong; He was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon Him. . .And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:40,52).

The apostle Timothy was trained from early childhood to treasure the Word of God and to live to please Him. What valuable preparation this training was for the mission God had prepared in advance for his adulthood! “[A]nd how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15).

Jewish parents knew how powerful the influence of relationships could be. That is why those who ruled their households well (and thus had taken the first step toward becoming an elder) were wise enough to train their offspring from childhood to discern good relationships from evil: “He who walks with the wise [those who give and take good advice] grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

Unless a child’s or new believer’s values are reinforced by those in authority, they will melt to conform with the values of the people with whom they keep company. Instead, teach children and babes in Christ to actively seek out as friends and mentors those who are walking with the peaceable fruit of righteousness evident in their lives. Then they will increase their likelihood to treasure and cling to the wisdom that comes from above. And as they grow in that wisdom, they will be able to reach out to the lost without being drawn into sinful snares in the process.

“And he [John] will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord” (Luke 1:17, quoted from Malachi 4:5). The rebellious separation between generations had been foreseen by the prophet Malachi. Hundreds of years later, Zechariah prophetically announced the significance of his son John’s birth to fulfill this mission of reconciliation. John would prepare the way for the coming Messiah so that division and strife would not have to rule either in families or in the Body of Christ. Wisdom would till the soil of their hearts to discern the truth of the gospel of salvation.

With so much to gain by seeking after wisdom, what might hinder the development of that which is so greatly extolled in the Word? Some definite clues are given in James 3:13-17 to distinguish between the growth of life-giving wisdom and the stunting of sinful self-focus:

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

It is easy to see that the search for wisdom and for godly application of it is a lifelong process. It takes many years for a certain level of wisdom and experience to develop. For those diligent in its development lay the prize and honor of “elder.”

Although we will discuss the issue of bitterness more extensively in Section 3, one point is appropriate to consider here. Far too many men and women fall by the wayside along their spirituual journey because of bitter envy and selfish ambition. Bitter envy is often a product of sibling conflicts. One sibling, due to either wrong focus or pressure from parents, grows up comparing his or her life with one or all of the brothers and sisters. This inappropriate focus called bitter envy keeps them trapped.

Embittered people often feel they have gotten “the short end of the stick.” Throughout their lives bitter envy will cause them to compare their lives with others they meet. Resentment or jealousy will grow if an acquaintance is considered better off or more accomplished than they are. John describes such people: “But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him” (1 John 2:11). To compensate for their ugly feelings, people with bitter envy will display selfish ambition by getting ahead any way they can.

A person driven by selfish ambition becomes an idol unto himself. He acts without any consideration of God’s will or the people he hurts. His life may exhibit a series of financial problems, wrongs goals and decisions, and severed relationships. He is living a lie yet cannot see it.

One common thread among the older and wiser is their ability to give and receive counsel and advice. The devoted relationships that develop among elders are born through this type of mutual give and take: “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise” (Proverbs 19:20). A willingness to listen as well as speak was part of the Hebraic heritage. Thus the elders at the temple could marvel at the understanding and answers of even a twelve-year-old boy, Jesus!

Opposite to those who sought wisdom were the people who remained fools and failed to mature. Hebrew Scriptures denote a variety of words for “fool.” The kesil (kess’-il) is self-confident and set in his ways. His dogmatic strong will keeps him from learning from others: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool [kesil] repeats his folly” (Proverbs 26:11). No matter how many times you help him, he returns to the same pattern of mistakes.

The letz, on the other hand, is a mocking fool who knows better than those who try to correct him. His condescending attitude makes him difficult to speak with. Nabal (nah’-bull) is the Hebrew word for the fool who denies that the God of Scriptures is who He says He is: “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Psalm 14:1). Not an atheist, the nabal makes his god conform to the image he wants to worship. Therefore he fears no consequences to his disobedience.

The character of each of these types of fool blocks wisdom from impacting their lives toward godliness. They just grow older but are no wiser for the journey. And regrettably, the influence they exert on the less mature may be so detrimental that the elders must remove them before others follow their example of unrepentant folly.

Biblical Discussion: Humbly Seeking What’s Right, Not Who’s Right
Because their decisions played such a prominent role in the life of the whole community, Hebrew elders needed to be available and accessible to the people. Since they were of an age that they no longer worked at regular occupations, these men had the time to devote to matters of public and private concern within the community. In order for an elder to devote the energy and hours that such a role required, his own family must have already been taken care of. Therefore, the zaken’s children were probably grown and living nearby or even under the same roof. Or, his extended family could provide help. Since eldership was so highly esteemed, it was an honor to meet his needs.

The willingness for a man to discuss his plans with others before he acts is an important litmus test for spiritual shepherds. Wisdom gleaned over years produces a humble walk that is open to counsel and advice. Men who are wise endeavor to listen closely and to interact with what they hear. Remember, “The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17). Discussion, or what some call “interactive communication,” is normal interplay among the wise. You get to know a wise man on a deep, transparent level. He is willing to share even the mistakes he has made and the wisdom he has gleaned from his errors.

Many old men who have spent their lives foolishly seeking knowledge rather than wisdom have a narrow communication radius. Most are uncomfortable in discussions where what is right is cherished above who is right. For narrow people, “knowledge is power.” The information they possess is used to control others or to draw attention to themselves. These men speak at rather than speak with: “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1). It is difficult to get to know or to draw close to this type of person. His pride acts as a barrier, and his lack of love for others prevents him from shepherding the Father’s flock.

There are also those who, for various reasons, have missed the corrective devices of life. Some, through divorce, negligent parents, working mothers, or death of a parent, escaped the corrective training of childhood. Others have consciously avoided authority figures, staying just out of reach of those who might confront them. Those who are shrewd may project a disarmingly pleasant demeanor, hoping to forestall reprimand. Spirits deceive their minds into believing that “correction is rejection.”

Many old-but-foolish men are often great story tellers. By their lengthy, intricate tales they can prevent conversations from becoming interactive. Without interaction, listeners shut their minds off after awhile. You never get to really know these talkers, although your library of stories grows immensely.

Another type of older man who resists transparency is the one who has “hidden secrets.” He is outwardly friendly, but his conversations reveal little about his inner person. During a shipboard deployment Mike befriended another officer named Ralph. Ralph was a likable guy, easy to be around. After several months aboard the ship Mike overheard Pete, one of Ralph’s friends: “Ralph, you and I first met four years ago at Officer Candidate School. We’ve been stationed together ever since and I’ve been your roommate all these years. But Ralph, I don’t know you!”

Months later back in San Diego, Ralph and his wife invited us to dinner. After the meal, Karen suddenly broke into tears and blurted out, “We need your help. I’ve been married to Ralph for three years, but I don’t know him! If things don’t change I plan to leave him.” Mike immediately remembered Pete’s comment.

Until the wee hours of the morning we talked with this couple. Ralph kept giving excuses for why he didn’t reveal anything about himself. As Mike prayed to himself, the Holy Spirit revealed: “Ralph has been lying to you all evening.” Mike, tired and frustrated, announced, “The Holy Spirit just told me that you’ve been lying to us all evening. I’m leaving if you don’t start telling the truth!”

Breaking into tears, Ralph took the risk of transparency and revealed a secret about his past which he had told no one. He had always feared that if he began to share anything about himself with others, this “dark incident” would come out and people would despise him. We all sensed that this one thing had been destroying his relationship with others. Karen immediately embraced him warmly, as did we. Over the next few months Ralph’s relationship with Karen and with others changed dramatically for the better. Transparency that is shared with discretion is a powerful instrument in the Spirit’s hands.

Halakhahs: Display Your Father’s Wisdom As You Apply His Word
By sitting in an established area in the city, the elders of biblical times were accessible to all who passed by during the course of the day. Everyone knew where the elders could be found if there was a problem or question to be addressed. By group consensus the elders would decide the correct halakhah (hah’-luh-kuh), the most appropriate biblical solution for that situation. Establishing a halakhah represented the best efforts of the community elders to discover and apply one of several true, biblical options. Their decision would then become a precedent for all generations to consider in future deliberations.

The Jewish people, and therefore the earliest Church, had long been accustomed to gathering to pray and to study the Bible. In these groups they regularly discussed the Word of God in order to determine how He wanted them to apply it. Most often the discussions were conducted in a style known as the yeshiva (yeh-shee’-vuh) method, a give-and-take dialogue. The deliberations were very democratic. Issues were settled by the confirmation of two or three or by a simple majority vote, whichever was appropriate for that situation. This process underscored the Biblical axiom that “in the multitude of counselors is safety.” (See Proverbs 11:14; 12:15; 13:10; 20:18; 24:6—with that many repetitions, God is trying to get our attention!).

One person was recognized as the moderator of the discussion group, the nasi (nah’see), or “prince.” Rather than lording himself over the others or forcing his own opinion, the nasi represented equals. He was responsible for facilitating the dialogue until the group collectively reached an understanding of God’s will on the issue at hand. Plurality of thought and input was an essential ingredient; in today’s vernacular, all the cards were put on the table before a decision was reached.

What a burden of heavy responsibility the elders faced as they administrated community life! Totally dependent on the principles of the Hebrew Scriptures, they strained to apply God’s truth correctly. Prominent in guiding their administration were the commands of Micah 6:8: “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” In all their decisions the elders were responsible to uphold the Hebrew Bible and apply it to real-life situations.

For instance, say that a dispute arose over water rights to a stream that bordered two men’s properties. In a land as parched as Israel, water was a commodity as precious as gold. The two men would state their cases before the elders at the gate, within earshot of curious onlookers. The elders would discuss the Mosaic laws and the precedents that had been established from similar previous cases or issues. The precedent halakhahs that best suited the present situation were explored, and the application of biblical truth that seemed most appropriate was then offered as a course of action. The plaintiffs could stand assured that biblical demands had been satisfied by the decision that had been reached, even if one or both were not completely satisfied with the outcome. A halakhah that stated how resolution had been reached in this situation was then written down as an application guide for the whole community in the future. (For more on the topic of halakhahs, see our book Christian Halakhahs, a free download.)

Note that the emphasis in all of this was not a theoretical interpretation of Scripture but a correct application of the truth to settle a real-life situation. Can we today find any greater source of wisdom than the Word our Lord has given His people?

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Chapter 10
Vigilance: Keeping the Sheep In and the Wolves Out

Elders are watchmen, sure of the truth and courageous enough to stand firm in the face of ungodly opposition. To carry out this assignment they need a shepherd’s vigilance to nurture and care for the flock and a military vigilance to protect those under their care.

Constant watchfulness is the mandate for those who shepherd the Father’s flock. Have you ever seen a sheep that has been mauled by wild dogs? It’s a gruesome sight. Yet how many in our congregations have also been mauled by demonic wolves who try to shake the very faith of the sheep?

Paul warned the Ephesus elders, “Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which He bought with His own blood. I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them” (Acts 20:17,28-30). Some individuals in leadership can fool the rest of the flock by personal charisma, deep knowledge of the Bible, or worldly position and power. Such distinctions are not, however, the qualities that make up the fatherly watchfulness of an elder.

What a tremendous difference there is between the individual who is overseeing the congregation as his occupation or obligation and one who is wholeheartedly devoting himself to training up reproductive, confident followers of Jesus! Jesus addressed this distinction: “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it” (John 10:11,12). Wolves of deception and division are lurking on every side, and Satan can easily attack untended flocks. A good shepherd needs all the wisdom, experience, and trust in God that he can summon to ward off the enemy and love the sheep in such a way that they want to please their Father in heaven.

One day as Mike gazed over our pasture, God gave him a graphic picture of what the collective vigilance of elders looks like. The pasture was bordered by wooden fence posts that had been dug into the soil and spaced about twelve feet apart. They were connected to each other by woven fence wire. The ability of the fence to keep the flock in and the predators out was based on several factors. One was the strength of the fencing: how thick the wire was and how close together the strands of wire were. The tautness of the fence, that is, how tight the wire had been pulled between the posts, was also crucial. Tight fencing kept the sheep from pressing down on the fence to force their way out.

Essential as well were the fence posts: how sturdy they were and how deep in the ground they had been placed. The overall soundness of the fence, though, lay in the corner posts. Other posts leaned angularly against these to support the strain of the fence. Strong corner posts enabled us to pull the fence as tight as necessary to keep the fence upright.

In Mike’s analogy, the fence posts represented elders who were connected through their relationships with each other. Some elders, because of the wisdom they had gleaned over years of obedience to Jesus, were corner posts. But it was the combination of these human fence posts and the strength of their relationships that enabled the fence to be effective. The fence marked a boundary of protection so that the flock could safely find nourishment and security. The fence also created a barrier to entry by whatever might be detrimental to the well-being of the flock.

True shepherds are constantly on the alert for the presence of enemies who might sway the people off God’s course or subtly persuade them toward heresy. Spiritual warfare is raging around each believer and faith community. Individuals may fall if their leadership is not vigilant to train them to discern righteousness from wickedness.

Learning to apply the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God, through personal halakhahs is a vital aspect of military training for these “warrior sheep.” (There is a certain irony that followers of Jesus who are so often referred to as dependent, needy sheep are actually called to be soldiers sheathed in the armor of God! Only the power of the Holy Spirit can accomplish this transformation.)

Elders can help or encourage each family to establish personal halakhahs to provide a wall of protection around their own home. By prayerfully exploring the Word, believers can discover the principles and standards that God reveals for questions about finances, child raising, marital roles, or whatever faces them. To establish and hold onto these “as for me and my household” decisions and choices, followers of Jesus need sound doctrine and load-bearing relationships that are accountable and encouraging.

Is the faith community learning to be spiritually alert—in a state of military readiness? Since Satan has declared war on every follower of Jesus (see Revelation 12:17), each believer needs to be trained in the use of the weaponry outlined in Ephesians 6:10-18.

It is not enough to be aware of your own weapons and gifts. These must be combined and coordinated with the “firepower” of others in your faith community if you are to make effective inroads into the kingdom of darkness. For example, your faith community may include a predominance of believers gifted with mercy and helps. As you look around your neighborhood you see a lot of latchkey children returning to empty houses. With that kind of need at your doorstep you might discern after a season of prayer that the Spirit wants to coordinate a group of you to man an after-school care center in someone’s garage. In this safe haven the children can be helped with homework, learn about Jesus and His Word, and experience His loving kindness from you.

Or maybe you discover that many in your faith community are gifted in evangelism. They just love to share the Gospel on the job or wherever they go! The Lord might nudge your Body into sharing sandwiches with the homeless and needy at a local park while presenting His truths through song, mime, and testimony. The combination of the gifts of evangelism, service, mercy, giving, and administration gives strength to this enactment of God’s love. Everyone in your faith community has a spiritual niche to fill through the power of His Spirit to accomplish a Kingdom mission. (See our workbook God’s Instruments for War: Discovering and Coordinating Spiritual Gifts as Weapons of Warfare, a free download, for further discussion of this topic.)

One aspect of elder watchfulness is oversight of those who are infants in the faith and unaware of the battle or the nature of the enemy that is against them. If your faith community wants their prayers answered, it is vital that each member identify and renounce any spiritual strongholds that might hinder spiritual discernment or personal obedience. (If this is unfamiliar ground for you, please refer to our workbook Demolishing Strongholds, a free download, for insights on spiritual warfare.)

God responds to the cries of the righteous. Those who are plagued by besetting sin can hinder others from growing in spiritual maturity. Jesus and His disciples never hesitated to cast out demons that would hinder the work of the Holy Spirit in people’s lives. And Paul was not averse to expelling demons that interfered with his work, nor to warning congregations to be on alert against the work and workers of the evil one.

Nothing can devastate a faith community more than strife and division in its midst. If you have walked among churches for any length of time, you are probably aware of underlying currents of grumbling, complaint, and dissatisfaction that rumble just beneath the surface. People can sense tension even if they don’t recognize the cause of it. The enemy of our souls is constantly on the prowl, seeking to devour people’s love for one another and turn them against each other. Unconfronted grumbling can grow into a ground swell of disillusionment about the congregation as a whole and the leadership in particular.

Caring shepherds face discord head-on in prayer and biblical confrontation. Confrontation may seem negative or unloving to you. In reality, however, biblical confrontation addresses a person who is in error in a manner that is likely to bring about repentance and reconciliation. Both people and sheep find comfort and protection in knowing their boundaries. Assurance that their sheepfold is not a playground for wolves to sow discord or false doctrine brings security to the flock. But if the wolves aren’t confronted, distrust of the elders mounts because the sheep sense they are unprotected.

Loss of trust was painfully brought home to us a few years ago. One summer we planned a vacation. A single woman who had been at the retreat center many times offered to tend our sheep while we were gone. Because of her work schedule we ended up leaving on our trip before she arrived. On our return she left several hours before we got back, so we had no overlap with her at all. After unpacking we went out to the pasture to check the flock. They ran away from us in a panic! Over the next few days they continued to avoid us. Their distrust greatly concerned us.

Four days after our arrival back, our neighbor stopped by. When we told her about the flock’s fear of us, she asked, “Didn’t you know that the person who was staying here let her dog loose every day to chase the flock?” No, we didn’t! We felt hurt and ashamed that we had failed the sheep. Now we understood how much they had trusted us to protect them. Many difficult weeks passed before we could regain their confidence. How vividly this experience illustrated to us the sober vigilance shepherds need!

Eldering: Protection and Direction
Biblical elders shepherded God’s people by offering protection in many dimensions. God had spoken through His prophets about the need for shepherd leaders who would faithfully guard His people: “‘I will place shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing,’ declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 23:4). Decisions from the councils of elders in each town were designed to guard the dignity of the individual and establish justice for even the weakest member.

Since women were among the most vulnerable to injustice in biblical times, elders were responsible to uphold the reputation of those who were maligned. Consider these two cases. The first involves a young bride whose husband decided he didn’t want her after all. He schemed to lie about her chastity so that he could be legally free to divorce her. Note that the case results would become public knowledge so that others would be deterred from pursuing this man’s course.

"Then the girl’s father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. The girl’s father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him" (Deuteronomy 22:15-18).

Not only would the scheming husband’s reputation be stained, but he would have to pay his father-in-law a substantial sum for trying to impugn that man’s family honor. In addition, the husband would be forbidden to ever divorce his wife no matter how difficult circumstances might become. The elders were doing their job to protect weak sheep from unscrupulous wolves.

The second case also involves a woman in a precarious situation. The elders’ decision would serve as a warning to the rest of Israel that those who treated God’s commands lightly would not go unpunished. Think about the depth of humiliation that was intended by both the woman’s words and her actions toward the guilty man.

"If a man does not want to marry his brother’s wife [widow], she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to carry on his brother’s name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to me.” Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying, “I do not want to marry her,” his brother’s widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, “This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother’s family line” (Deuteronomy 25:7-9).

Notice that the elders gave the offender every chance to repent, exhorting him to consider his responsibilities and the consequences of evading them. Still he refused. Therefore his penalty was the supreme public insult that could be administered by a woman. On top of that, any of his future generations would also carry the accursed name of “The Family of the Unsandaled” (see v. 10).

These issues were not dealt with privately behind closed doors. The corporate, covenant community of Israel was held responsible by God for obedience to His Word. As merchants passed through the city gates, they listened to these cases with great interest. The decisions made by the elders were sure to be passed along by word of mouth all throughout Israel.

The elders exercised such authority that they had power over life and death. Consider the situation of a person who had accidentally killed someone:

"[A]nyone who kills a person accidentally and unintentionally may flee [to a city of refuge] and find protection from the avenger of blood. When he flees to one of these cities, he is to stand in the entrance of the city gate and state his case before the elders of that city. Then they are to admit him into their city and give him a place to live with them" (Joshua 20:3,4).

The slayer could seek the protection of the city elders from the victim’s vengeful relatives until he could stand trial. Again we see the intermix of justice and mercy that so defines God’s relationship with His people.

During the seventy-year exile to Babylon in 586 BC, the land of Israel was nearly bereft of experienced leadership. However, despite the lengthy absence from their homeland, those who were older and wiser were still able to guide and counsel the people by means of the Hebrew Scriptures. It was during this exile period that gatherings for Bible study and prayer became regular features of the Hebraic culture. By coming together corporately, the people of Israel were never without a testimony to God’s faithfulness to those who love Him.

After the Babylonian exile Nehemiah was able to rebuild the fallen walls of Jerusalem. The elders of the people, led by Zerubbabel and Jeshua, then set about to rebuild the temple. Once that structure was completed, the Jews would truly know that they were home again: “But the eye of their God was watching over the elders of the Jews, and they were not stopped until a report could go to Darius and his written reply be received. . .So the elders of the Jews continued to build and prosper under the preaching of Haggai the prophet and Zechariah, a descendant of Iddo” (Ezra 5:5, 6:14).

Under the divine power and approval of the Almighty, the Jerusalem elders were able to rouse up workers to fulfill God’s plan for the temple to be completed. Then atoning sacrifices for sin could be offered. The whole family of Israel could once again express their loving obedience to their God in the way that He had commanded them.

Time and again the Jews failed to abide by God’s commands to exercise justice tempered with mercy and humility. And time and again their failure brought judgment: exile, famine, plagues. Not only were the elders judged, though; the poor and lowly had to pay for the consequences of that disobedience as well: “The Lord enters into judgment against the elders and leaders of His people: ‘It is you who have ruined My vineyard; the plunder from the poor is in your houses’” (1 Samuel 3:14). When those who lead go astray, the ones in their care suffer as well.

David offers a tragic illustration of catastrophe brought about by failed leadership. Seventy thousand Israelites were destroyed by plague when David misguidedly numbered his troops. His prideful motivation exposed, the penitent king mourned before God, “I am the one who has sinned and done wrong. These are but sheep. What have they done? Let your hand fall upon me and my family” (2 Samuel 24:17). Without wisdom in its leaders, a faith community can also suffer grievously.

Rhema: God’s Guidance in Leadership
If you aspire to serve as an elder or are doing so now, immerse yourself in the presence of God through prayer and scripture study. That is the only way that you can increase in wisdom to correctly apply your life experience. Wisdom and experience are vital assets in helping you discern God’s will for specific life situations. God is not short on revealing His rhema, His revealed will for specific purposes and situations. But He is seeking followers whose spiritual ears are listening and whose hearts are open to obediently follow through.

Have you ever heard the old saying, “Don’t rest on past laurels”? In our context it means that shepherds cannot get by on practices and knowledge that may have been effective in the past. Just as God’s mercies are new every morning, so are His plans and opportunities for spiritual growth. Constant diligence and willingness to gain wisdom are needed if you are to know the mind of Christ and model that for others!

Shepherds who do not diligently seek His guidance face dire consequences: “The shepherds are senseless and do not inquire of the Lord; so they do not prosper and all their flock is scattered” (Jeremiah 10:21). All men have frailties that fall short of Christ-likeness. Yet wise is the man who recognizes how seeking rhemas for himself and his family is a training ground for future eldering.

When a man exercises domestic authority in a godly manner, he is preparing himself to walk in leadership of a faith community. Ephesians 5:25-27 reveals an important duty of a husband: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

The statement, “cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,” indicates a husband’s vital role in his wife’s spiritual development. “Word” in this passage is rhema, not logos. The husband is not being enjoined here to teach his wife the logos, that is, the Bible. His responsibility is far more than that. God wants him to discern the application of His truths, the rhema, to her life. As the priest in his home, he is commanded to uphold God’s will and to teach his wife and family the path of righteous living that pleases God (see Ephesians 5:8-10).

Consider the implications of not having God’s revelations for your family or faith community: “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18). Unrestrained people regress from sinful thoughts to “secret” sins to blatant, open rebellion. Elders must detect early on whether discord in the congregation is due at least in part to their own sloth or disobedience if they have excused or entertained sin among the flock.

Shepherds Who Are Not Shepherds
What are some of the pitfalls that might entice elders away from virtuous shepherding? Peter appeals to elders as a fellow elder: “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away” (1 Peter 5:2-4).

Serving out of obligation because you feel no one else will do it or losing heart in serving the interests of the sheep means you need to consider stepping aside for personal reflection, renewal, or repentance. If you are a pastor, hoping to hold on to your financial remuneration should never supersede having a father’s heart for the sheep. If the paycheck is that important to you, perhaps you should look into some other means of earning money. And if you find yourself more and more isolated from those around you, it’s time for an attitude check. Are you the humble servant that God has called His shepherds to be, or are you thinking more highly of yourself than you ought?

Consider what happens to a congregation whose leaders lack the Father’s heart: “They are dogs with mighty appetites; they never have enough. They are shepherds who lack understanding; they all turn to their own way, each seeks his own gain” (Isaiah 56:11). “Appetites” vary. Some look for position because it increases their self-esteem. Others are desperately seeking approval from significant people in their lives. Still others enjoy the power of control over other people’s lives. (Thus we see Peter’s warning to elders in 1 Peter 5: Don’t lord it over the sheep!) Any motivation that is apart from exercising the Father’s heart toward the sheep is impure and will eventually sink into self-promotion and self-gratification.

Even first century believers were warned to discern the difference between godly leaders and those who were in it to benefit themselves: “These men are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm—shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead” (Jude 1:12). Leadership traits that are exalted by the world can spell doom for a faith community.

The “rain” and “fruit” valued as life-giving in the Word are evident in a leader’s life. Believers are nourished by his care and devotion. But intentions and promises that have no history of substance can make a man seem more spiritual than he really is.
No individual is (or should be) indispensable if he has lost his anointing. Brothers who are eldering together need to help one another to face pitfalls in order to find righteous resolution for the sake of the flock. Remember, newer followers of Jesus are looking to their elders as examples of maturity in Christ. What kind of role model are you?

“Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of My pasture!” declares the Lord. Therefore this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to the shepherds who tend My people: “Because you have scattered My flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done,” declares the Lord. “I will place shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing,” declares the Lord" (Jeremiah 23:1,2,4).

The pasture of the Lord is intended to be a safe, spiritual harbor for His people, not a gathering of disgruntled, suspicious “worshipers” who practice “fine” Christianity. Do you know what that is? The wounded and hurting respond “Fine!” when asked how they’re doing. They feel too vulnerable or unprotected to be honest and open. Woe to those shepherds who have not provided a sanctuary for the wounded to find healing in the Lord Jesus Christ!

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Chapter 11
Eldership: New Testament Qualifications

It should come as no surprise, given Paul and Barnabas’ history as devout Jews, that they would draw upon their Hebraic heritage and appoint elders for each gathering of believers: “Paul and Barnabas appointed elders for them in each church and, with prayer and fasting, committed them to the Lord, in whom they had put their trust” (Acts 14:23).

Since the Hebrew Scriptures are fairly silent about the qualifications for elders, what type of men were Paul and Barnabas seeking to lead these faith communities? Fortunately for believers today, Paul is quite explicit in his listing of traits for this important responsibility. He details these character qualities to the evangelist, Timothy (see 2 Timothy 4:5), who will turn the leadership of the faith community over to the shepherds:

"Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap" (1 Timothy 3:1-7).

Note: Throughout the Newer Testament, the words “overseer,” “elder,” and “shepherd” are used interchangeably. Peter confirms this in two verses: “To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ’s sufferings and one who will also share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers” (1 Peter 5:1,2).

Paul uses the three words interchangeably in Acts 20: “From Miletus, Paul sent to Ephesus for the elders of the church... Guard yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God” (Acts 20:17,28). The same men are being addressed by three different words. These words refer to older men fulfilling a role of varied responsibilities. The interchangeable use of these words is similar to a married man being called husband, spouse, and head of the household.

Just because a man may be qualified to serve as an elder, he might not want to because of time constraints, personal responsibilities or interests, or just plain reluctance. Conversely, a man may desperately desire to serve as elder but be lacking in one or more of the qualifications listed. While it is a commendable thing to want to serve one’s spiritual family as an elder, these parameters have been established for the protection of both the individual and the faith community.

The listing that Paul enumerates in his letter to Titus is similar to that sent to Timothy. Again we see the situation of an evangelist, Titus, appointing qualified men to shepherd the faith communities in every town:

"The reason I left you in Crete was that you might straighten out what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you. An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it" (Titus 1:5-9).

How vital it is for a man to have raised his own family well as an indicator of his personal leadership abilities! Further proof of the importance of sound family leadership is corroborated by the writer to the Hebrews: “Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith” (Hebrews 13:7). The outcome of a man’s life was the critical test for whether others should listen to his teaching. Leadership and character rather than education or wealth were the key factors of honorable leadership in the early Church. Remember, from the Hebraic viewpoint, a man began to obtain wisdom around age forty. After the age of fifty he might be wise enough to counsel.

The Laying on of Hands: Caring Empowerment
While the actual process or ceremony of setting apart an elder for service is not clearly delineated in Scripture, we do see many precedents for laying on of hands. From the Hebrew Bible we see that “Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him. So the Israelites listened to him and did what the Lord had commanded Moses” (Deuteronomy 34:9).

In earlier times Aaron the priest and his sons had laid their hands on the heads of sacrifices that were to be offered to the Lord (see Exodus 29:10, Leviticus 8:14 for examples). Jesus Himself laid hands on the little children to pray for them, just as it was customary for Jewish fathers to lay their hands on the heads of their own children to bless them each Sabbath evening (see Matthew 19:13-15). Jesus also healed many by laying His hands on them.

The earliest church at Jerusalem selected seven men to replace the apostles in caring for the widows. These seven were presented to the apostles, “who prayed and laid their hands on them” (see Acts 6:6). In the city of Samaria, the Spirit was given to the believers at the laying on of the apostles’ hands (see Acts 8:18,19). Paul himself was healed and filled with the Spirit when Ananias laid his hands on him (see Acts 9:17).

It would seem that there was some connection between elders and the laying on of hands, as Timothy was warned to not be hasty in doing this (see 1 Timothy 5:22). Timothy had received a gift from God that came into him through the laying on of Paul’s hands, and another spiritual gift when “the body of elders laid their hands on [him]” (see 1 Timothy 4:14).

And finally, the writer of Hebrews seems to indicate that the laying on of hands was well-enough known to be referred to as an “elementary teaching” (see Hebrews 6:1,2). So was this deed actually a part of the “commissioning” of elders as they were appointed? We can’t say for sure. However, this action certainly put a visual stake in the ground before witnesses that an elder was being set aside for specific responsibilities among the flock of God. The laying on of hands also evoked an anointing of the Spirit’s power as it had with the seventy elders who assisted Moses.

Accusations Against an Elder
By what process did the first century Church consider an accusation against an elder? Scripture offers this command: “Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning” (1 Timothy 5:19-20).

It is significant that an accusation against an elder was serious enough a situation that two or three witnesses must bring forth charges. Even an accusation of crime which demanded death in the Hebrew Bible required the witness of two or three: “On the testimony of two or three witnesses a man shall be put to death, but no one shall be put to death on the testimony of only one witness” (Deuteronomy 17:6).

Note that an elder was not always the innocent party but that witnesses were required to corroborate guilt. The application of public rebuke as a deterrent apperceived the public punishment of the scheming husband and recalcitrant brother-in-law cited earlier from the Older Testament.

Because of the respected position elders occupied, gossip and slander against them were forbidden in the Word. Regrettably, the most commonly used demonic ploy against elders continues to be malicious talk. How important it is, then, for followers of Christ to guard their lips and ears from speaking or hearing slander or gossip.

Gossip and slander share similarities. Gossip passes along rumors about an individual. People who slander maliciously defame the reputation of the one against whom they are speaking. Neither slander nor gossip is redemptive, reconciliatory, or restorative. Therefore neither can be tolerated in any context among followers of Jesus.

So what should be done if an elder fails to be responsible in his care for God’s flock? He is a brother in the Lord, and therefore should be lovingly confronted by a mature follower of Jesus. If he will not listen, then he should be confronted by two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, he must be dealt with publicly. God holds shepherds accountable for His flock. Fear of man should never prevent fellow believers from approaching an errant “family member” with the goal of righteous restoration and reconciliation.

The Role of Older Women
While older men exercised authority as elders within their faith communities, older women certainly played an important role among the people as well. The biblical precedent for a righteous woman of virtue was found in Proverbs 31:10-31. This passage was recited every Sabbath in the homes of both Jews and Jewish followers of Jesus to affirm a wife as a vital part of a man’s reason for existence. Just as every devout man aspired to the wisdom of an elder or sage, so every righteous woman looked to the Proverbs 31 matron as her role model of an older, virtuous woman.

That this passage refers to a senior lady is indicated by verse 23: “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” Since the man is an elder among the people, his wife is most likely an older woman who has earned the respect of her community: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). To expect a young woman with toddlers to fulfill the many responsibilities that were designed for a mature woman of means would be cruel and unrealistic. However, as a goal or ideal, the passage was encouragement for the future.

The widows and older women of each congregation whose husbands served as elders were perhaps the likeliest candidates to fulfill the assignment listed in Paul’s letter to Titus:

"Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the word of God" (Titus 2:3-5).

Scripture often warns women against being idle busybodies and quarrelsome nags: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Proverbs 14:1). How needful it was in biblical times (and even more essential today!) for women to have access to mature, godly women who were willing to speak lovingly and forthrightly about righteousness and obedience.

How each woman lives out the many passages that specifically address godliness in women requires the development of personal halakhahs. The older women in a faith community can help the younger ones study and apply Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, Proverbs 31 and all the other passages that deal with women. With this kind of scriptural guidance shared in relational love, each woman can incorporate the specific areas of application that God is prompting in her spirit.

If you are an older woman, are you willing to be accessible to the younger wives and mothers who are floundering on the shoals of selfish worldly values and standards? Proximity is key. If you are spending all your free time with your peers, are you removing yourself from availability for God’s greater purpose for your life?

Think of how Peter’s mother-in-law set an example for her daughter by eagerly waiting on the Messiah Who had just healed her! Think of the spiritual conversations the two women probably shared while Peter was on his intimate journeys with Jesus, and how prepared that younger woman was to later accompany her husband on his missions for the sake of the Gospel (see 1 Corinthians 9:5)! Don’t underestimate the powerful influence of an older saint to lovingly lead in righteousness a willing younger follower.

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SECTION 3
Rebuilding the Ancient Paths

Chapter 12
Relational Cooperation Among Elders

Flying the Restored Church
Elders of the Restored Church are a reflection of the Father’s care for His people. Their caring leadership and cooperation with each other will be the Father’s testimony to the flocks they are serving. One way to describe the cooperation among the shepherds is to picture faith communities as formations of aircraft. (See the diagram on the following page.) Each formation consists of a lead plane with other planes flying in position behind it. Additional planes can then assume their positions in succession.

Each formation resembles a flock of geese in flight. Each individual in the formation is relationally connected to another person with whom he or she has a personal association. A believer who is discipling another person in the formation will have a closer relationship with that individual than will the others in the formation. New people enter a formation through their relationship with someone else in the flight. Several of these formations may fly together for encouragement and mutual support.

The earliest Church developed within a patriarchal society. Family members were accustomed to seeking counsel and direction from the family elders. In a similar way, relational connections were linked within the gatherings of Jewish believers. Their faith communities may have operated like formations, led by elders who were affiliated with each other through relationships.

For example, in the diagram below, each grouping may represent a home fellowship (A,B,C,D,E) that is led by an elder or elders (1). The elders are discipling those (2,3) who are discipling others (3,4)—individuals who are flying in sequence behind them. In this manner the elders are preparing for their own succession.

As men mature and move forward to take their place of servant leadership, they can form other home gatherings that are kin to the first. Succession is based upon age and maturity, the development of shepherding characteristics, and a desire to serve by leading.

KEY:
HF ..... Home Fellowship
(1) ..... Qualified Elder
(2) ..... Almost Qualified; mature in years, more character develop ment needed
(3) ..... Men approaching maturity, continuing character development
(4) ..... Younger men

As man (2) becomes qualified in Home Fellowship A, B, or D by discipling others, he may form another home gathering with those who are flying formation on him. Note that men (2) in Home Fellowships C and E have no one currently being discipled by them. There is no fixed pattern of how the multiplication of gatherings occurs. It is critical that the number of people in each fellowship remain small enough so that rendering account to the Father for His people is possible. (A wonderful visualization of this principle of formations, succession, and growth is portrayed in the movie classic Twelve O’Clock High starring Gregory Peck.)

Each flight (home gathering) is served by an elder or elders who maintain relationships on behalf of their group with other home fellowships. The home gatherings are able to combine as a single congregation for coordinated worship or for spiritual assignments that require the efforts of many. In effect, the elders pastor, or shepherd, the men, who in turn shepherd their own families. Single people, including widows and divorced people, are adopted into the whole family of relationships that are represented in the home gatherings.

These relationships are a seven-day-a-week commitment to each other. This is a community that is based upon knowing and living out common biblical convictions. Intrinsic to the whole process of relational responsibility and commitment is awareness: An elder can lead no faster than the slowest one in the group can travel. This means that someone in the body (preferably not an elder, so that others can grow in mature discipling) will be responsible to come alongside the less mature person to exercise spiritual wisdom and compassion.

When Mike was in Navy flight training, the “least pilot” concept of curriculum was developed. All training was designed to take into consideration the weakest person who had been accepted into flight training. The strongest was expected to develop a team understanding that enabled him to wait for the weakest pilot to catch up.

Relationships within formations of believers are linked in a way that is similar to those in a sheep flock. As we led our flock out from the barn or the pasture, the lead ewe, Precious, was on our heels. The other ewes “flew formation” on her according to their age or boldness. The lambs of each ewe effectively “flew formation” on their mother. Each felt secure knowing his or her position in the flock.

Mike was an elder in a congregation that was made up of home churches. He not only shepherded a particular home church but represented the people in it with the shepherds of the other home churches.

Those in our home fellowship had numerous contacts with each other during the week, both scheduled and spontaneous. Each Wednesday we gathered for a potluck and for whatever else seemed appropriate. No two evenings were the same. Sometimes we shared in worship, other times in deep repentance, and still other occasions in unabashed laughter and fun. These were special times for all of us. The children were always included with their parents. Spontaneous contacts during the week included phone calls, stopping by, babysitting, sharing errands—the sort of things you do with family.

As our home church grew in size, Mike mentored two of the men to prepare them to be shepherds of two other flocks when we multiplied. Thus we had three home churches all kin to each other. Mike stayed in touch with the two new shepherds and met with them weekly for mutual support. They also knew that they could call him at any time for situations about which they had questions.

The home churches of this particular congregation met each Sunday for worship together. Those in our particular home churches showed up over an hour early so that the children could play with each other. The adults enjoyed this time immensely. We all caught up with each other over prayer and coffee. We were such a close-knit family that during the time of worship it was impossible to tell whose children were whose. We often all sat together and the little ones nestled on the laps of their spiritual “aunts and uncles.”

On most Sundays different families from our fellowship would take part in activities together. Whenever we were together there was wonderful fellowship. And when we were apart, we all sought ways to reach the unsaved in our neighborhoods, campuses, and workplaces.

Differing Purposes for Home Fellowships
When several formations of bombers are sent into battle, they fly at different altitudes so that the anti-aircraft guns on the ground can’t “draw a bead” on them. Each formation may be assigned targets that differ from those of other formations. The planes in each formation may be carry different types of bombs, depending on their target. This diversity is both necessary and desirable.

In a similar vein, not all sheep flocks are raised for the same purpose. Our sheep flock was initially made up of Suffolks, tall, hardy sheep bred for meat production. In the spring this breed normally birthed two lambs that could be fattened for meat in the winter. The only drawback of Suffolks was the inferior quality of their wool. Another sheep flock may be comprised primarily of Romneys. These are bred for their high wool quality but are not the best meat producers.

What is illustrated by the characteristics of the various sheep breeds and bomber formations has parallels for our faith communities. Synagogues, the locus of Bible study and prayer for Jews, were loosely affiliated with one another. These gatherings were not, however, clones of each other, for each was comprised of individuals with varying levels of interest in personal holiness. So, too, each early community of believers had a distinctiveness that was demonstrated in their obedience to the possibilities that God opened up to them for Kingdom expansion—the works God had prepared in advance for them to do (see Ephesians 2:10).

Too often, current congregations pretty much look and operate the same way. Pastors and/or leaders determine a norm for programs and activities, and the people are expected to fill the slots. On the other hand, fellowships that are strengthened by restoration truths can have dramatically different purposes depending on their maturity, gifting, and geographical location.
For instance, the needs facing an inner city fellowship may differ drastically from those confronting a suburban group. Elders who shepherd these gatherings must be aware of the uniqueness of the group they are serving. Often just knowing the variety of spiritual gifts present in a fellowship can tell you why God has brought this particular group together.

Neighborhood Home Fellowships
“Flying formation” with one another requires close contact. A home fellowship that gathers on a neighborhood basis provides the proximity needed for relational responsibility through more frequent spontaneous contact. Sociologists define a neighborhood in the U.S. as the distance covered in a five-minute walk from your house, or the radius of a quarter mile.

Contact with each other should ideally be relatively convenient rather than a strain. If you have to drive thirty minutes through irritating traffic to see others in your faith community, you’re less likely to initiate spontaneous encounters. Our Hebraic ancestors gathered in homes in their neighborhoods, and the Bible tells us, “The Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (Acts 2:47).

If God impresses on you to start a home fellowship in your neighborhood, you may have to begin with a few committed load-bearers from outside your immediate neighborhood who share your burden for the lost. They will be able to pray with and for you as you wait for God to reveal who in your environs is open to your friendship.

Your initial neighborhood contacts may be purely of a social nature—a barbecue, sports event, dessert with the families. But you are building relational bridges that may develop into occasions to make the gospel come alive for them as they see the living Lord in you. Just make sure that you are not looking at these people as “targets” to tally up on an imaginary salvation list; they’ll see right through that motive.

Ideally, as home fellowships expand, every neighborhood will find a gathering of Christ-followers who are prayerfully taking responsibility for the souls there who are heading for a Christ-less eternity. Through intercession and neighborhood friendships, the kingdom of God can extend itself throughout a city. And the believers who have been nurtured in the pattern of relational responsibility will have been equipped to reproduce His love city-wide—and elsewhere if they move.

Spontaneous outreach and load-bearing relational responsibility may not be part of your spiritual experience. This is probably due to the centralized control and hierarchy system that operate at both the local and denominational levels of most congregations. Because of their affiliation with one another, however, each home fellowship can function separately with their own shepherds. And still, they are affiliated by their geographical location and spiritual family ties.

The concept of affiliation is illustrated in Acts 20 when Paul calls one last time for the elders of the church of Ephesus. He encourages these men to remember that he taught them both “publicly and from house to house,” where gatherings of believers met in one another’s homes. The church at Ephesus in its many congregations was held together by the relational ties of its leadership and by the connection of extended-family love produced by the Holy Spirit. Having the heart burden and capacity to extend those relationships beyond the spiritual family is your next step to weigh.

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Chapter 13
A Journey Begins: A Destination and A First Step

You are on a spiritual journey to a glorious destination, the throne room of God. And along the way you’ve been privileged to carry out an encompassing assignment: to take the Gospel to all people. If you are an elder or almost-elder, your focus must be fixed on the power of Jesus in you to equip those in your care to fulfill this purpose. All other Body-life activities must support this goal:

"For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again. All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation" (2 Corinthians 5:14,15,18,19).

This earth will disappear, but what matters is this: Will you and the ones with whom you share Jesus find joy at the judgment throne by hearing your names read from the Lamb’s Book of Life? Your faith community is part of the larger family of Jesus throughout the world. Your neighborhood is ground to be seized for the King. If you keep this focus with a compassionate burden for the lost, in time you will take your city for God’s purposes.

If you are enlisted by the Lord into His service, there is no way for you to bypass your enemy, Satan. To share the Gospel means that you must fight the war for souls. Your entry into that battle calls you to fight, to win, and to hold on to what you have conquered in the Name of Jesus. This is your biblical responsibility. Elders who are serving the interests of the Lord must equip the soldiers in their faith community to attack. Failure to do this will result in believers who are like prisoners of war: alive but ineffective in serving the King.

Seizing Your Neighborhood for Jesus
Several important principles for reaching your neighborhood with the Gospel were discovered by evangelist Ed Silvoso as he and his team saw God move mightily in Argentina. We’ve adapted some of his insights as recommendations for those who desire to see spiritual inroads made in their schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods.

1. Establish a perimeter of holiness around each home of your faith community.

Remember, the primary reason to have fellowship in the face-to-face environment of a home is to be able to uphold righteousness. The early Church understood that God answers the prayers of the righteous. Pray for our Father to raise up Christ-followers in your neighborhood who are burdened in the same way.

From our Father’s vantage point much of the Church today represents disjointed, glorified POW camps which pose no threat to Satan’s domain. When you establish a perimeter of righteousness around the homes in your faith community, you put Satan on guard. The enemy all too clearly recognizes that through righteous, effective prayer our Father’s will can be accomplished and His kingdom expanded.

Why is it so important for perimeters of righteousness to be established?

• Perimeters secure a sanctuary of spiritual refuge and nurture in the home.
• Those within the perimeters experience unity as they pay the price of forfeiting their own desires in order to please their Lord.
• By upholding communal righteousness within the perimeters, their prayers will be answered.

It is important for each person or family to establish halakhahs of righteousness for their home. When they have determined the biblical parameters for their families, they can then scrutinize their homes for any unholy items or practices that may be there. Sinful reading materials, offensive television programs, unholy music, even certain foreign souvenirs will hinder intimacy with God and the effectiveness of prayer. So will alcohol or drug abuse, rage, or self-indulgence in excess of any kind. Prayerfully examine your attitudes and behavior toward each other in your family. Is your home a sanctuary and refuge of love and peace for each family member and visitor?

2. Secure your perimeter and protect it from infiltration.

Securing your perimeter requires that the elders be vigilant. When holy perimeters are established, Satan will attempt to infiltrate them by any scheme or device possible. Sin will seek you out like never before as an active demonic weapon. Paul understood the intensity of this struggle when he lamented, “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me” (Romans 7:21).

Satan’s most common weapon of war is bitterness. That is why Paul warned, “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26,27). God’s people can be used by Satan when they give him a foothold from which to operate. Those who are plagued by bitterness may appear to be needy, but in time they will defile others in your faith community: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).

Bitterness operates like witchcraft to control, to manipulate, or to exercise power over others. The “grace of God” the apostle refers to is sufficient for a believer to choose to forgive. Missing that grace demonstrates a lack of appreciation for the preciousness of Jesus’ shed blood. Those bitter tentacles can reach into the lives of others in the faith community to cause grievous trouble in the whole flock.

The leaders of a certain missionary organization became very concerned because 50% of their missionaries were dropping out even before their first term was over. As the leaders investigated the causes, they discovered that 80% of those who had left were plagued by unresolved past bitterness with family members. The dropouts couldn’t get along with colleagues because they reminded them of family members with whom they’d never learned to get along.

People project their unresolved family conflicts onto others with whom they will have close contact in the future.
• The same situation occurs when a person who didn’t get along with his or her parents marries.
• The way a woman responds to her father’s authority tends to be the way she will respond to the authority of her husband.
• The way a man treated his mother tends to be the way he will treat his wife. Mothers are usually very aware of their sons’ shortcomings and may bring these up readily. When a man marries and his wife tries tactfully to do the same, his response to her is likely to be, “You’re just like my mother!” He may even project the same resentment onto other women that he meets later in his life, whether in his workplace or in a church setting.

The same scenario operates in a woman’s response toward men if she has unresolved bitterness with her father. Even unresolved conflicts with siblings will tend to cause negative reactions toward others she meets later in life.

When Mike was counseling church leaders, one shared this: “I like to watch the reaction of clergy to you. If they have a good relationship with their fathers, they get along with you. But if there is unresolved bitterness toward their dad, they speak against you. That response is how I recognize which ones I want to befriend and which ones to be careful of.” Mike was surprised by this observation, but because of his caring relationship with his own father, he knew the man’s comments were valid.

Bitterness is the foothold from which the spirits of antichrist and lawlessness operate inside faith communities. The antichrist spirit denies the Gospel of the Hebrew Bible (salvation by trust in God’s grace and provision of a sin-bearer) that Jesus speaks of in John 7:38. The person influenced by this spirit fails to repent, to love, to trust, or to forgive.

Many who profess to follow Christ are in fact deceived and display no evidence of the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit. Without Jesus, they are a lawless people with no regard for the commands or the holiness of God. In fact, “[The man of lawlessness] will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God” (2 Thessalonians 2:4). Lawlessness appears in the antinomian attitude of those in the Church who abuse grace by believing that God excuses their sin through blanket forgiveness. Out of ignorance or defiance, they fail to understand that grace is a spiritual empowerment to repent and to obey God’s commands in trusting humility.

Vigilant elders can discern three practices by which demonic spirits are deluding the Church today:
(1) False prophets manipulate forecasts of the future for personal gain or recognition. Some claim special insight into “end time” scenarios. Yet Jesus advises, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” (Matthew 24:36). Other false prophets demand immediate response without providing time for those present to test what is shared.