Topic 1. So You Talked About It...
We realize from contact with some of you
that you may not be benefiting as much as you could from
Lifebyte 47, Marriage As A Covenant
Lifestyle. First, picture the two of
us. As the Holy Spirit prompts us, we write lessons in
accordance with His Word. These are designed to help
individuals and families become more like our Lord Jesus as
they're put into practice. In essence, the materials He gives us are
designed to help you change through His Spirit and be transformed as the
character of Jesus increases in you and your fleshly self
decreases.
This process is discomforting as you learn to resist the
lifelong guidance of your sin nature-controlled soul and become
a person whose spirit is being led by the Holy Spirit. If you
truly want to follow Jesus, this transformation into His nature
is non-optional, "For as many
as are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God" (Romans
8:14).
The reality in each of us is that
EVERYTHING in your sin nature resists you becoming more like
Jesus: "For the sinful nature
desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is
contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other,
so that you do not do what you want" (Galatians 5:17).
Since the Apostle Paul emphasized this
reality of opposition in our spiritual life, you need to quit
moaning over the changes you must yield to in order to become
more like Jesus. Or, are you among the rebellious of heart who
are saying, "Lord, I want to be Yours, but let me go on
enjoying the sin I entertain. My sins make me happy, and I'm
sure Your grace will overlook them."
If you want to remain dominated by your sin
nature but still believe you're okay with God, please heed this
truth, and then consider whether it applies to you: "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:24).
In the feedback we've received as a result
of Lifebyte 47 (and other teachings), we've discovered that
some people are dramatically changed by what they've
internalized, while for others nothing happens. Some of this is
a mystery to us since we can't discern the "soil" of
anyone's heart, that is, how deliberate they are in wanting to
be more like Jesus in their daily lives. How much are you prepared to
forfeit to be like Jesus (see Matthew 13:44-46)? Are you
prepared to forfeit everything for Him and for His gospel?
As our Lord so often summed up at the end
of His parables, if you have ears to
hear, then hear! This repeated phrase
is an imperative, a command, a non-optional directive that
means to listen intently, then take
action according to the will of our
Father! So many believe that because they've read or heard
something, that's all the "action" they need to do.
Not so! Our Lord never spoke unless it was for a purpose: that
His words be applied in the lives of those who heard.
Perhaps we can provide some insight if the
teachings we share seem irrelevant or meaningless to you. Here
are some common responses of people who are in this category:
1. "We talked about it."
Remember, the Hebraic method of effecting
attitudinal and behavioral change is to use discussion with the intent of applying that which the Spirit reveals. Many of you are using discussion to render your own opinions about the content. What does sharing your opinion really get
you? The framework which guides your opinions is your old
unchanged nature, which won't be transformed just by you
voicing your opinion.
Can it be that your reliance on your
opinions is a sign that you don't have the Holy Spirit, or that
your sin nature is overruling Him? "The
man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come
from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned" (1 Corinthians 2:14). Be diligent and judge
yourself by what comes out of your mouth (see Luke 6:45). Your
very words reveal whether you speak from your spirit or your
soul. And, don't be reluctant to give each other feedback.
The only opinion that really matters is
that of our Lord Jesus! His Spirit makes known His character
qualities which are lacking in you so that you can humble
yourself before Him and yield to His "chisel". If the
Spirit of Jesus is dwelling within you, then intentionally
focus on the areas of His Word that He's nudging your heart to
follow through on — and set aside proffering your
opinions.
2. "I'm glad to read materials like
yours because I love knowing more about spiritual things!"
We aim this point especially at you younger
people (under 50). During all those years of public education,
including college, you were trained to be the center of your
world. You got ahead in school because it was designed not to train and
change you, but to add to your knowledge base. In other words,
you learned specific sets of information so that you could pass
tests. More study got you ahead in the system, but that on
which you were tested was probably forgotten as soon as you
laid down your pen.
As a result of this kind of training, you
go through our material or even the Bible for that matter, with
the intent of accumulating more knowledge. But a mind full of
facts will never change your life, nor will you ever become
more like Jesus in character. Until you put what you know into practice —
sacrificially pouring yourself out to bless others — your
transformation into Christ's likeness will be hindered. It's
what you do to meet the needs of others that both our Lord Jesus
and James affirm (see Matthew 25:32-46; James 2:14-26). Before
you quote Scripture at anyone, go live
it first!
3. "Ever since I've sought to be more
like Jesus, I've become more unhappy."
You need to remind yourself that the
Humanist influence behind public education bathed your
motivations to pursue whatever would make you
"happy". You envision God as your "Great
Store-house" whose sole goal is to satisfy your desires.
This lie has deluded a lot of Christians whose illusions need
to be shattered. The deceptive "health and wealth
gospel" and the "church growth movement" were
spawned on the lie of self-gratification that nullifies Jesus' pattern of self-denial.
Pursuit of happiness in spiritual matters is like having bad breath.
Everyone who truly follows in Jesus' steps is aware that you're
afflicted with it as your driving motivation — even if
its presence is indiscernible to you. What you need is someone
in your life who has the loving courage to tell you how vile
you spiritually smell! Be aware that God's means of helping you
become more like Jesus is the refining fire of suffering, not happiness
(see Hebrews 2:10; Romans 5:3-5; Romans 8:15-17; 1 Peter 2:21).
Suffering is intended by Him to be your change-agent. Please,
embrace it and don't grumble! (See 1 Corinthians 10:11.)
4. "I really don't like to be
inconveni-enced."
This point is connected to the previous
one. If you're intent on pursuing your own happiness, you'll
avoid any form of inconvenience — any adjustment of your
time or energy that calls for the "extra mile" . This
is why we can state so resolutely that in over 30 years of following Jesus, we've NEVER met
any person or couple who ever matured in Christ if they didn't
use the early morning to pursue Him together. If you can't get up early to seek Him in love through prayer and
His Word and whatever resources you have, and to discuss with a loved
one the changes our Lord wants to make in your lives, you will
NEVER be transformed into His character as He calls for.
If you refuse to make your pursuit of the
character of Jesus first in the morning, when will you do this?
Nothing will ever become important to you that you don't do
daily. The higher its priority to you, the sooner you'll get to
it. How can you fully belong to the Jesus you profess if you
don't pursue Him daily no matter what the inconvenience?
In order to nurture your spirit, you need
an extended morning period that is sufficient to come before
Him with earnest heart (see Hebrews 11:6). He's waiting to help
you bring about the changes He yearns to make in you,
particularly as He's in your midst with someone else who loves
both Him and you!
For you young married men who are failing
to diligently seek God so that your marriage will grow more in
the way Jesus intends, a consequence of unfulfillment will weigh
upon you. You and your wife will live as parallel railroad
tracks, going perhaps in the same direction but not intersecting
in spiritual union as a covenant in Jesus. You've made your own
personal convenience an idol, and our Lord will have no idols before Him. There-fore, don't be surprised if you encounter
frustration on the job because you're neglecting your
responsibility at home.
5. "I don't diligently take my
thoughts captive; instead, I entertain and chew on them."
This one act of resistance to our Lord's
will, which is taking your thoughts
captive and bringing them into obedience to Jesus, keeps so many from experiencing the love and
belonging which other people extend to them. Remember this
paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 10:21: "You
cannot hear from the Spirit of the Lord and demons too; you
cannot have a part in both the Holy Spirit and the demons as
well."
One of the most common ways Christians keep
themselves from experiencing the love and belonging that's
offered by others is self-deprecation — you put yourself down. You, who are made
in the image of God and for whom Jesus died, knock yourself
because you believe the lying voice
of demons.
If you don't take your thoughts captive and
make them thoughts that Jesus would have, you provide the
fertile soil for strongholds to establish themselves:
1) Satanic-inspired THOUGHTS are introduced
into your mind.
2) Entertaining these thoughts brings on EMOTIONS.
3) Giving in to these emotions eventually
leads to taking some sort of ACTION.
4) Continued participation in this behavior
causes you to develop a HABIT.
5) Once a habit is developed, a STRONGHOLD is
built by that spirit.
And, when fortresses of demonic influence
— strongholds — have been built in your mind, will,
and emotions, your:
• HEARING from God is altered;
• BELIEF in God is shaken;
• DESIRES are distorted;
• ACTIONS are disobedient;
• RELATIONSHIPS are debased.
If you wallow in this soulish fetid swamp,
you will NEVER make it to the top of the relational pyramid in
the power of the Holy Spirit to experience Christ-like love. Your
ongoing resistance to the truth of God's love for you will also
hinder those close to you from pressing on in victory.
If you're determined to believe the demonic
lies, then in a hellish prison you’ll stay until YOU take
your thoughts captive and bring them into obedience to Jesus.
Our loving Lord wants you to hear only
from Him and to resist any
thoughts that are not His. His Spirit in you has given you this
power. Only YOU can choose to capture and cast down those
self-reproaching thoughts, replacing them with His powerful
truth!
6. "If I confront my grown children
about their sinful lives, they won't come over. They'll keep my
grandchildren away from me."
Too many of you older folks are beset by a
prison of fear. You've told us that you're afraid to confront
your biological (or even spiritual) children because you're
afraid you'll lose access to your grandchildren. But have you
considered God's perspective? Your fear to confront your loved ones
about their sin is condemning them to continue in that sin,
perhaps never repenting and turning to our Father for forgiveness
through the sacrifice of His Son. Isn't their eternal destiny
more important to you than your own earthly gratification?
Your refusal to love enough to confront
their sin is sin on your part. You suffer in fear and apprehension that
you'll say or do something that will tick your children off and
prompt them to retaliate by withholding your grandkids. But
your non-confrontation reveals that your love for your
grandchildren is greater than your love for your Lord and His
desire that they repent and come to Him. You've made your
grandchildren an idol in your life to the extent that you're
even willing to disobey God in order to have access to them.
Your primary life responsibility is to love
the Lord your God wholly in obedient trust, heading for the
narrow gate yourself. And, as you go, to do whatever is
necessary in the Spirit—correct,
rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful
instruction—to help your
family join you in receiving a heavenly welcome. Why would you
ever want to be family on earth if you won't be family in
heaven?
Consider in your
spirit what God is commanding
you in these verses:
"And do not be conformed to this
world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that
you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and
acceptable and perfect...But we all, with unveiled face
beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being
transformed into the same image from glory to glory,just as
from the Lord, the Spirit"
(Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:18).
Topic 2. Are You Looking To Jesus Or
Yourself?
On January 13, in an e-mail entitled, Would You Like to Get Married?, we mentioned an offer we'd made to a specific couple:
to take part with them in a Covenant
marriage ceremony to renew their
vows as we ourselves had done in Jerusalem in 1994. Recently we
joyfully shared in this Covenant commitment with Leo and Lillie
Mann, who are in our extended spiritual family. Their hearts
were overflowing with loving desire to do this because they're
filled with grateful appreciation for all that our Lord Jesus
has been doing to deepen and purify their love for each other.
Mike had asked them if they were prepared to
commit themselves in a Covenant ceremony. We smiled as they
looked at each other with the same loving expression the two of
us had in Jerusalem 14 years ago, and replied emphatically,
"We're ready!"
As with any covenant, it isn't the ceremony
itself that's as important as the purposeful determination of
the heart toward our Lord Jesus and each other. And we can attest with joy that
they have a heart for both!!!
If you remember, the covenant ceremony ratifies the condition
of a couple's love for each other — they're in mutual
committed agreement that this cove-nant will permanently stand.
The daily pressing on ahead without looking back at the past is how that
covenant is lived out. It's a deliberate choice of heartfelt
obedient trust that the Spirit of Christ in them will work as
they continue to see each other through their heavenly Father's
eyes!
"Now the Lord [Jesus] is the Spirit,
and where the Spirit of the Lord [Jesus]
is, there is freedom.
And we, who with unveiled faces beholding
as in a mirror [Jesus's] glory, are being transformed into the
same likeness with ever-increasing glory,which comes from
the Spirit of the Lord [Jesus]"
(2 Corinthians 3:17,18)
Why is 2 Corinthians 3:17,18 so vital?
This testimony about the Manns isn't
intended just to bring you delight as you read about a joyful
happening in the lives of some particular followers of Jesus!
We are hoping that YOU will seriously put yourselves in their
shoes and examine your own marriage (or encourage a couple dear
to you) to prayerfully consider if it's time for your marriage
to be renewed as an intentional
covenant before our Father.
In preparation for their Covenant
celebration we gave Leo and Lillie the above Corinthians
passage to reflect on together. Remember, in a Covenant
marriage the partners are dedicating themselves to the purpose
that their marriage will increasingly
reflect the love of Jesus, our
heavenly Bridegroom. Whatever the Spirit of Jesus within each
marriage partner desires to change in order for them to be more
like Him is to be the love-based
motivation of their covenant
together.
A covenant means that there is
"union". And, within a covenant union of marriage,
the husband and wife are purposing to live in union together
with the Jesus in them. Only with this understanding of covenant privilege
and responsibility can our Lord be reflected and glorified in
their mutual motivations and actions.
One of the references to the Holy Spirit is
the "Spirit of Jesus
Christ" (Phi-lippians 1:
19). Being indwelled by the Spirit of Jesus brings home this
critical transformational truth:
Jesus in you enables you to be
more like Him.
This ongoing work of willing yieldedness to His Spirit on your part paves the way for each opportunity for
character transformation to take place! If you aren't becoming
more like Jesus in some way, then please seriously consider
these two possibilities:
(1). He's not indwelling you. "You are not controlled by the sinful nature
but by the Spirit, IF the Spirit of God lives in you. IF anyone does not
have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ" (Romans 8:9); or,
(2). You'd rather give in to your old sin
nature than become more like Jesus. "For IF you
live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but IF by the Spirit you
put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live" (Romans 8:13).
So what does this mean? Jesus in each of
His followers enables us to be conformed
into His likeness (see Romans 8:29)!
How can a marriage ever reflect our Lord if both spouses don't look to
the Spirit of Jesus in each of them to change them? This is
where a humble heart that cries out to Lord Jesus in trusting
reliance finds peace as He sets into motion an opportunity for this
change to come about. And don't be surprised if this
opportunity is painful! That pain may be the incentive that's
needed to forsake your old nature's way and put on Christ in
that part of your character.
A note of warning:
Don't try to "improve" your life
in your own strength as so much Christian literature proposes.
"Self-improvement" takes place through your sin
nature-controlled soul. If you follow this deceptive path
rather than call upon Jesus to change you 'Spirit-to-spirit',
you'll only find yourself returning to the same besetting sins
again and again. You'll be inoculating yourself against hope
that He can truly change your yielded life.
Proverbs 26:11 speaks to the futility of
trying in your own strength to change, and giving up in defeat when the
hoped-for results don't transpire: "As
a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."
"I'm Tess and she's Monica."
When we came back from Jerusalem in 1994 a
new show had just come on TV called Touched
By An Angel. We'd returned with a
thousand pages of research notes and a command from our Father
to "Share this message" but we were clueless about
how to do this. Sure, we're well aware of certain
"theological problems" presented in the show's
concept. But as we watched the segments of Touched By An Angel, the
Spirit of Jesus gave us increased understanding as to both the message our Father
had given us and our role in sharing it.
The main characters in the show were two
angels, Tess and Monica. Mike identified with "Tess",
the older experienced one, and Sue with "Monica", the
younger one eager to learn. God sends the two angels to bring about change in the lives of people. We knew from the
Spirit's words we'd received in Israel that the Hebraic
foundations were not to be merely informational. Rather, the
restoration He was doing would be life-changing for those who would receive it.
We noticed that each episode was built on
one of two themes:
1. A person was facing a situation so awful that they
couldn't believe that anything good would ever come about for
them. Their hopeless despair imprisoned them from any trust in
God. In fact, most were often deeply bitter toward Him.
2. Someone was filled with angry bitterness
toward a person who had wronged them in the past. Before the angels came into
their life, they refused to even consider forgiving that
person. Their only desire was for the perpetrator to suffer for
the hurt that was caused.
As we began to share the Hebraic
foundations, we recognized that many of the people God sent us
to were plagued by one or both of these two themes. He was
using us as messengers of the Hebraic truths He was restoring
to show them the way of freedom. It all begins with their Covenant relationship
with the Father and Jesus. (See the center of the Restoration
Diagram; also, the Hebraic Article, The
Gospel of the Covenant is the Pilgrimage to Salvation.)
Our Father didn't send us to get people out
of their problems! He called us to help them deepen their relationship with Him as He freed them from their problem. Just as with the
desperate Israelites standing on the shores of the Red Sea as
the Egyptian army was about to attack, our Father uses
difficult circumstances to cause us to turn to the Spirit of
Jesus with all our hearts. In doing so we grow in the loving
trust He cherishes. This is so life-giving, because Jesus still asks all His
followers, "Do you LOVE
(agape) Me?” (John 21:
17).
We've grieved over the years as we've
watched so many who were once freed neglect their Covenant
union with our Lord and choose instead to fall away from Him.
Like the Israelites in the Book of Judges, they returned to
their old sinful ways. Many became imprisoned in the same
hopeless, bitter pit from which they'd once been emancipated.
In essence, they gave up on Jesus and embraced their sin nature again (see Hebrews
6:4-6).
Keep this in mind: If either spouse is making attempts to change
themselves in their own strength, they're relying on their soul (their mind, will
and emotions) rather than on the Spirit of Jesus. Over time,
they'll give up and serve their sin nature all over again. You
can recognize this by the way they continue to find fault in their spouse (see Matthew 7:4,5).
The love spoken of below is
"agape" love. This type of love looks to the need of others and has power to be implemented. Only the Spirit of Jesus in you can
empower you to have this love for one another (see Galatians 5:
22).
• Love is
patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud.
• It is not rude, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF
WRONGS.
• Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth.
• It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres (1
Corinthians 13:4-7).
Out of love for Jesus and for each other,
you must press on into all the transformation our Lord wants to
ac-complish in you! Don't look back at what you've done wrong to each other in the
past. Don't ever keep a record of those past hurts. When these painful memories
arise, you must "take captive
every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). With HIS perspective
and power to forgive, you can love your spouse like Jesus
would!
If agape love is the heart motivation of
both of you, you'll refrain from making a project out of improving
your marriage. Some of you who have been successful in
corporate America speak as if improving your marriage is some
type of business plan. Just know that if you work at your marriage
like a project or business plan, you'll keep returning to the
same evil vomit. And what's worse, you'll develop a spirit of cold love toward each
other.
Cold love develops when you guard your emotions so
you won't be hurt again. It's a cave of emotional protection
into which you can withdraw and hide. Once you're isolated in
the cave, there's no way you can develop the interactive
Christ-like love you need in your marriage.
We followers of Jesus can't allow cold love
to freeze our hearts! How could we ever stand before Him having
failed to share His affection with our spouse the way He wanted
to through us? Our spouses need to not only hear us speak of the
priority and work of Jesus in our lives, but experience the
affection — the emotional side of His love for them
— through us. (For more on the affectionate side of love,
see Teaching E-mail 36. Are You
Dancing Around Each Other?)
You'll never love each other as Jesus would
unless HIS LOVE empowers you.
Get on your knees as often and as long as
you need to and look inside yourself to the Spirit of Jesus for
the love only He can give through you. Anything less only defames Him, and leaves you hurting each other.
Topic 3. Does Cold Love Have A Strong Hold On You?
Many today under the control of cold love perceive
themselves to be far more loving than others recognize them to
be. Sadly, within much of Christendom, people who are beset by
cold love can mask it over by doing "good works",
believing that their charitable actions are a suitable
substitute for heart devotion.
In our workbook Demolishing
Strongholds, cold love is one of the
symptoms under the stronghold of Stupor
& Prayerlessness. Any or all of
the symptoms which manifest this stronghold are (but not
limited to):
• Distanced From God
• “Cold” Love
• Hardened Heart
• Distracted
• Spiritual Blindness
• Laziness
• Deceived Self-appraisal
• Unresponsive to others
If you habitually guard yourself from
emotional hurt in any form, you've either given in to the
stronghold of Stupor &
Prayerlessness, or have allowed the
symptom of cold love itself to control your response to and
interaction with others.
How can you recognize if cold love
dominates your relationships? You refrain from providing the
affectionate support others need from you. You may indeed do
many kind acts for others. But your actions only mask over your
desire to protect yourself from
emotional hurt. Through what you do
you're able to conceal from others the fear that you'll be
wounded.
Another very different indicator of cold
love is a false self-appraisal. You may think you're walking in Jesus' steps.
But while you openly welcome expressions of care and love toward you, you rarely
initiate affectionate support toward
others. Like a
'bull-in-a-china-shop' we wrote about in Lifebyte 48, you're
totally unaware of how your reticence hurts others. You're so
afraid that you'll be rejected if you reach out that you wait
for others to make the first move toward you—even if
they've repeatedly affirmed to you how dear you are to them!
Does Cold Love Have A Strong Hold On You?
Do you find that your love flows from an
affectionate heart that's eager and willing to be poured out as
a blessing? Is your life expression of love growing more daring
and more evident to those who know you well? Or, do you find
that you're emotionally protective of your heart, and
judgmental toward others who don't meet your preconceived
parameters of right behavior?
This is a very important matter, for your
Christianity is only as real as your love is. Your inability to
develop Christ-like love is evidence that cold love may have a
strong hold on your mind, will and emotions — your soul.
Jesus warns that the influence of
evil around us and our own tolerance of sin in
our lives will diminish our capacity to respond from the
Spirit's fire of love: “Then
many false prophets will rise up and deceive many, and because lawlessness will
abound, the love of many will grow cold” (Matthew 24:11, 12).
Law-lessness is
defiance of God's ways, basically any motive or action that is
contrary to His Word. Many Christians like to think that their
lives are acceptable to the Father, but their self-gratifying
and wicked goals and motives betray them. The world has such a strong hold on their
hearts that they don't even realize how far they've compromised
their relationship with a holy and righteous God.
Do not love the
world or anything
in the world. If anyone loves the
world, the love of the Father is not
in him. For everything in the world—the
cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting
of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world (1
John 2:15,16).
Many of those who are tempted to stray from
God's path are doing so because they're finding a camaraderie
and sense of acceptance that's sorely lacking among fellow
Christians. They're critically examined by others in the faith
and found to be lacking in some area. Therefore, self-appointed
spiritual watchdogs assault their emotions and drive them into
"caves" in which they hide the pain and fear of
further rejection.
Little wonder that those who are being hurt
try to protect their emotions and eventually give way to cold love —
going through the motions of "Chris-tian" activity
out of duty or obligation but experiencing none of the loving
communion of the Spirit of Jesus in them or from others.
NO emotionally guarded person can develop
the love of Jesus for others because they're unable to accept the love of
Jesus for themselves. What a grievous antithesis of Kingdom living!
Whatever loving motivation of Jesus that could be manifested
through you is stifled as you cut yourself off from being His
conduit of agape love.
Please consider this in your spirit: If
you're cutting yourself off from the possibility that you might
be hurt by others in your family or faith family, you may be
giving way to a root of bitterness that’s nestled behind the pain. The
Scriptures warn us that even a little root of bitterness in
your life can sprout because we resist God's grace to forgive.
And even more insidious, that root can
infiltrate the lives of others as
well:
[Look] carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by
this many become defiled (Hebrews 12:15).
Bitterness is really unfulfilled revenge.
By hiding out in your emotional cave, you're not only exacting
vengeance on the one(s) who hurt you, but also on everyone else
who deserves your Christ-like affectionate support but isn't
receiving it from you. You're choice to withhold love contaminates
others as they're not experiencing God's love for them through
you. They're being hurt by your fear of vulnerability and your
refusal to believe that the Spirit in you can both work through you and heal you.
It's very possible that someone's bruising
or cruelty may have wounded you deeply. It's almost inevitable
that in a world of increasing harshness and cruelty you'll at
some time be hurt. You may indeed choose not to respond with
the love and forgiveness that the Spirit of Christ in you
empowers you to extend. But giving way to begrudging bitterness induced by that offense will rob your heart of its capacity to
love. Gradually you'll join the majority of Christians today
whose love is “growing cold.”
Let's look at your marriage, or that of
someone you care about. Marital love has been designed by our
Father to be a passion for covenant union with each other. (Picture the
Song of Solomon in regard to your spouse!) It is a commitment
to your mate that has no limitations. Love without this intense
commitment is really NO love at all for your partner. Going
through relational motions in no way reflects our God —
and certainly doesn't describe the love our heavenly
Bride-groom has for His Bride!
HE is the Source of the love you need for
each other. Being yielded to the work HE wants to do in you to
extend this love is a choice on your part. HE has forgiven you
as a sign of His love for you. Are you willing to respond in
His Spirit to fully forgive your
spouse? Many Christians attend
services, read the Bible, tithe, sing and act like other
Christians they know. But inside they have grown distant and aloof from both God
and other people. In passive self-protection they’ve
withdrawn from allowing the love of Jesus to be fruitful in and through them.
Every time you refuse to forgive another
person who has hurt or offended you, your heart not only
hardens toward them, it hardens toward God.
If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a
liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has
seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And He has given us this command: Whoever
loves God must also love his brother” (1 John 4:
20-21).
You may be grieved by what someone has
done, but you do not have a biblical option to stop loving
them. Should you confront them and express how their action or
attitude has hurt you? Absolutely! But the love of Jesus for
others, no matter what they've done, is your only heart option.
Otherwise, you become a prisoner of
unforgiveness, unavailable to be
Jesus in the flesh to them by His grace.
Each of us needs special people in our
lives who are committed to us as individuals; people who know
we are not perfect but love us anyway. The manifestation of
God’s Kingdom will not come without people being
committed to help each other reach the fullness of Jesus in
their lives to bring Him glory. Remem-ber, the Kingdom of God
is founded upon relationships — imperfect relationships of
Spirit-indwelled brothers and sisters mutually extending the
love of Jesus to each other.
Focus on the Greatest Commandment
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with
all your soul and with all your mind and with all your
strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no
commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30,31)
When you love our Lord as He commands and
empowers you to through His Spirit, your love for others will look
like your love for Him. The second commandment is like the first
— it's the same devoted, sacrificial agape love. The more
you unconditionally love Jesus, the more you will
unconditionally love others.
The outgrowth of the Spirit of Christ in
His followers is that His love for others becomes our love for them. Those who
possess the Kingdom of God in its reality are people who refuse
to guard their emotions. They resist the temptation to give way
to cold love. Rather, they help each
other become what our Lord has
called them to be: the loving representatives of Jesus Christ
to all they encounter.
Jesus calls each of us to carry out His
mission: “As Thou did send Me
into the world, I also have sent them...” (John 17:18). If we aren't bearing the same
divine forgiveness and love that impelled Him, we will be
deceived. Indeed, if we are not motivated by a love that can be extended to others, we will actually become a menace to the cause of
Jesus. This love comes only by the grace He has given His own.
Repentance removes the “logs”
within our own vision so we can acquire God's view of people
through the work of His Spirit in us. It is the true beginning
of seeing clearly — of seeing light in His light (Psalm 36:9). This
is the opposite of the judgmental, carnal sin nature in us
which always projects the image of itself onto others. The way
we help others for His glory is by “seeing
clearly.” Calling out for His love and forgiveness make
His perspective possible in us.
The Apostle Paul longed for his Philippian
family with "the affection of Jesus". Thus he urges
us to abundantly extend love to one another: “I pray that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment” (Philippians
1:9).
True discernment is rooted deeply in a love
that is sincere and fruitful in righteousness, eager to bring
praise to God (Philippians 1:10,11). But there is also a false discernment that
is based on suspicion and fear caused by past hurts. You can
recognize false discernment by the self-protective
barrier around it that keeps a
person from redemptively reaching out in affectionate love.
Many of you reading this have for one
reason or another allowed cold love to take control of you.
You've lived with emotional guardedness for so long that you
can’t recognize it. Please, let go of your cold love and
cry out to Jesus for the cleansing and healing work He can do
as you trust Him! Holding onto a "love" that's only a
duty for you to fulfill will keep you from lovingly
representing Jesus to others. And, tragically, your resistance
to His love for and through you will defame Him to those who
have yet to know Him in Spirit and in truth.
Topic 4. You Cannot Serve Both God And
Money
Yet another root of cold love may be hindering
your ability to love your spouse as our Lord Jesus would have
you. A love that is lawless serves
self as its god. If
self-gratification is your god, then it is also your master, as
Jesus warned: “No one can serve two
masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he
will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God
and money" (Matthew 6:24).
Pursuit of wealth and its trappings is
epidemic among so many westernized Christians. Have you ever
paused long enough when a TV evangelist is speaking to realize
that finances — whether yours or those of their ministry
— are a neon focal point? And even a passing glance at
the "church growth movement" witnesses to its
ever-greater need for stadium-sized edifices to harbor the
thronging masses.
What prestige and worldly acclaim emanate
from a system that parallels the corporate realm! Yet in the
end, what message is sent forth? The love of money and what it
represents rather than the love of God.
This wickedness of worldly compromise is
why over 20 million people have left institutionalized
Christendom. The mega-churches, the crown of a system in which
financial resources represent evidence of success, have seen a
15% drop in attendance in recent years. The Spirit of Jesus in
the people who have departed has convicted them penetratingly.
They can't love Him and still sit complacently within religious
institutions which are marked by a common quest for a larger
share of the world's pie.
The biblical principle of separating your goals
and desires from those that are "unclean" in God's
sight is a new wineskin into which your old worldly desires and
goals just can't fit! (See Matthew 9:16,17; 2 Corinthians 6:
17,18.)
Examine your inner person closely with
these questions as a framework:
• Is the pursuit of money and/or
prestige your current motivation? Was it ever?
• You may have once pursued money but
now have the trappings (home, luxury vehicle, wall-sized TV,
vacation cruises, "toys") that your earnings have
achieved. But is your delight in your belongings fostering cold
love in you? Do you find you'd rather spend any free time
enjoying your belongings instead of attending to your
relationships and purposes in God's Kingdom?
• Have you ever really considered the negative consequences of your pursuit of money, the security you feel you derive from it, and your delight in what your
resources have provided you?
A sobering reality: A key reason given for
the dissolution of marriages is the grim battle over money. Who
earns what and who spends it on what is fertile ground for a
harvest of discord and anger. Unwillingness to set aside wants
or to reevaluate the nature of true needs often tears apart
couples raised in a generation in which plastic easily
overcomes self-control. The resultant tension over how to
manage money can turn the most passionate marriage into a
battleground dominated by cold love. How does this happen?
Both Testaments make clear that God will
not entertain any form of competition with the loving devotion
that's due Him. The "love of money" referred to in
the following verse is a word that means keeping what you have and pursuing more of it.
You're driven by what money represents as a value in your life,
and blind to the decline in your relationship with God that
inevitably occurs when "things" take precedence.
For the LOVE of money is a root of ALL
EVILS. Some people, hankering after money, have WANDERED FROM
THE FAITH and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Timothy 6:10).
Why can't you serve God and money at the
same time? Because mankind has been created to cling with
zealous devotion to only one master
at a time. If the things of this
earth and your means of attaining them are your master, then
you're going to despise God and all that He represents. He
shares His place with no one and no thing. If you choose to
adhere to the world system's goals and desires, your
relationship with Jesus will shrivel. Is the pain of that
self-piercing worth it to you?
On the other hand, if you served God
according to His Word's parameters, the Spirit of Jesus would
have been at work in you to develop His agape love. And, your spouse
would be the delighted recipient of that love. Does this
describe your marriage? When you served money and the pursuit
of all that you wanted to please your flesh, you developed a
heart of cold love. Please know this. If you refuse to repent and change
your ways, your marriage will falter and crumble. Is this what
you want?
Let's recap here. You may have wandered from the
life of love-grounded, obedient trust that our Father called
you to by His Spirit. There is such sober intensity in God's
words through a faithful Hebrew servant's pen: "Let your character [or life] be free from
the LOVE of money, being CONTENT with what you have" (Hebrews 13:5). Straying from our gracious
Lord's path will only lead to the piercing grief Paul warns about
—the grief of cold love in
your heart as you go through
relational motions but have no passion or sincerity in them.
You may find yourself quite pleased with
the current state of your prosperity, relishing the comfort
your money has purchased. (Actually, it doesn't take wealth for
you to be consumed by things of the earth; just a greater drive
for those things in your life compared to your hunger for
Christ.) But the security of the accumulation you believe your
hands have produced is a snare (Luke 8:14). Self-sufficiency and worldly security nurture
a lethargic complacency about the commands of God, especially
those that involve the call to love one another.
If you find yourself spending time
daydreaming about how you can acquire that next promotion so
you can add to your abundance, you've created your own version of God —
a deity that benignly encourages you to "be all you can
be" and "get while the getting's good". And you
know in your heart that that's a false gospel that in no way
relates to our Lord — the Lord Who contrasts the true
riches of His Kingdom with what HE calls "unrighteous
mammon" (Luke 16:11). Ask yourself if your good intentions
and Christian phraseology are in fact a smokescreen for your
fear of what walking in Jesus' steps will cost you.
Is Lord Jesus against money itself? Not at
all. But He recognizes the powerful sin nature within each
person who is tempted to pursue that which can easily become an
idol and a trap. Let's take a closer look at His words:
• “How
hard it is for those who have riches to ENTER the kingdom of
God!” (Mark 10:23). The
man to whom this was spoken yearned to inherit eternal life but
just couldn't release the tentacles that his possessions had
around him. Are you any stronger of spirit than this man was in
dividing your loyalty between God and earthly security? Are you
going through spiritual motions but really haven't even set
foot in His Kingdom's love and purposes?
• “But
WOE to you who are rich, for you have your comfort" (Luke 6:24; see also James 4:17-5:5). The James
passage in particular is written for believers, since they're the
only ones who will be reading (or hearing) it. Interestingly,
there was no punctuation in the original epistle. The anguished
warning of the misplaced focus on wealth is preceded by an
encompassing declaration. If you blithely make plans for
earthly enjoyment without seeking first our Lord's will, you've
made your will superior to His.
When you know what the good is that you're
to do but fail to do it, you've sinned. And His Spirit as well
as His Word make clear that pouring out your resources to bless
yourself violates the heart of God. Heaping up wealth for
self-indulgence reveals who your "god" is: you.